Life

Status update

Riemer posted an update on LinkedIn yesterday with two photos that I took, and he properly gave credit: “Photos by my ex, Bianca Toeps.” First off, props for giving credit. But, uh, I think I need to explain a few things to you all.

Snap visit

“You know what I’ve been missing?” I thought the other day. “Just running around Tokyo with Charlotte, taking photos, reels, or whatever other content I can use for my socials.”

Toeps and Olga are checking the park

Two weeks ago, on a Sunday morning, I met up with Olga (my part-time marketing assistant) at Shinjuku Gyoen, the national park in the bustling heart of Tokyo. It was still early but already pretty warm. Summers in Tokyo often hit 36 degrees, and on top of that, the air is humid, making everything feel even stickier. Luckily, there was a breeze that morning, which helped with the heat but also served as a test for the microphone we wanted to try out.

Coughing Out Loud

“I’ve never had COVID,” I said earlier this year to a friend who canceled our plans because she was down with it for the third or fourth time. “That seems unlikely,” she said. “You’re probably just someone who doesn’t show symptoms.” Although I wanted to believe that, I wasn’t so sure: “I’m still one of the few who wears a mask…” Living in Japan certainly helps with that; here, it’s quite normal. But even in the Netherlands, I wore a mask on the train; my visits are always short, and, as I reasoned, getting sick would just be a waste of my time.

Fireworks

Every now and then, I check out Threads, Zuckerberg’s answer to Twitter. Now, we all know that people on Twitter (okay, okay, X) end up in bubbles, but Threads is way worse. The algorithm that serves up posts to me thinks I’m interested in exactly two things: autism and Japan. So, 50% of my feed is edgy takes from the autistic “community”, and the other half is filled with dumb questions (“How much money do I need for a two-week vacation in Tokyo?” – Uh, I don’t know, what do you plan on doing?) and even dumber statements (“Men in Japan never wear shorts because showing leg hair is gross!” – Uh, I just saw about ten guys in shorts on the train, nobody cares?) about Japan.

I like to move it, move it (the Japanese way)

Ever find yourself in this situation? You plan to move just a bed, so you contact a moving company, and before you know it, half your stuff is at your boyfriend’s place? That’s exactly what went down this Tuesday on moving day.

The Ikea haters

“Ikea furniture is not made for moving. It will break.” The Japanese gentleman from the moving company looked troubled. He spoke in Japanese to Google Translate, and then his phone spat out the translation in Dutch. Just before, he had asked if all my stuff was from Ikea, to which I cheerfully replied, “yes.” I love Ikea. The Japanese do not.

The apartment next door

Those who have read my new book know that, when I had just arrived in Japan and was still sleeping in my office, I wanted to rent the apartment right next door. It seemed so wonderful: a three-second commute, a shared internet connection, vacuum cleaner and pantry, and (after dismantling a partition) a very long balcony, so that I could even go “round the back” from home to office and vice versa. But alas, I just missed it, settling instead for an apartment on the other side of the building, and five floors up.

Buongiorno and konnichiwa

It’s-a me, Toeps, business manager. This blog is a selection of the things I have done in recent months. Because a lot has happened, and a lot is still going to happen! What exactly, you ask? Well…

The end of a Starbucks

François and I were standing in line for the Starbucks in the shopping center of Keio-Hachioji station, when a poster caught his eye. One of those posters with big red and yellow letters, and something in Japanese that translated as “clearance sale.” I had seen the poster before, but since my brain still doesn’t automatically translate Japanese, I hadn’t given it a second thought, and assumed it was just another advertising poster. But François’s Japanese is better, so he asked the barista, “Clearance sale?” – “Yes,” said the barista, “everything closes on March 31. We’re leaving too, the whole building is vacating.”

Two

Two big things are happening this week. One, the physical version of the English translation of my new book comes out tomorrow. The digital version came out last week, but because of Amazon’s annoying procedures, the paper edition had to wait another week. I also haven’t received an author’s copy or proof yet, because they don’t send those to Japan. Instead, I had Riemer look at it, and film it, and I made final adjustments based on that. For tomorrow’s festive photos, I just printed a color copy at the convenience store. 50 yen and some advanced origami magic, and it’s just like the real thing.

Exchanges

A few weeks before I flew back to the Netherlands, I was already not feeling very well. I was overworked, stressed, and a bit directionless after the publication of my new book, Deze autist ging naar Japan. I had just hired Olga, mostly because that would look good; a business manager who doesn’t manage anyone, of course the Japanese immigration bureau thinks that’s odd.

Lost and found

Last month I photographed Cynthia. Among the internet veterans perhaps better known as Miss Lipgloss, but nowadays blogging under the name Cynthia.nl, because we’re all not 15 anymore, and that sticky substance your hair got caught in is more than welcome to stay in the 00’s. So, Cynthia. A surprising development for some, because eh, you didn’t like each other much, did you?

Interviews and press, and how these things actually work

Thanks to the launch of my new book (and a cringeworthy opinion piece in Trouw that we had to respond to), I have been in the papers, on the radio and even on TV over the past few months. While I was generally pleased with the coverage, I also worried from time to time, as some of the headlines were somewhat unsubtle. Although I invariably did my best to emphasize the diversity of both Japan and autism, that didn’t always come across well.

The future was here

“Yukarigaoka, city where you can see the future,” read the inscription on the 40-year-old people mover (often called monorail, but it’s not the same) making its rounds through the town. Yukarigaoka, or Eucalyptus Heights, was built as a feat of urban development that Walt Disney dreamed about in his EPCOT days. High-rise buildings with lots of greenery, large malls with facilities and, to keep it all car-free, a largely elevated people mover that runs circles to and from the main train station.

Eight things I do to plan better

As an autistic person, I sometimes find it difficult to manage stimuli. It is often too much, and if I go beyond my limits I sometimes have to recover for days. In my book I wrote about how I learned to create structure by planning. Now you may be thinking: Sure, planning is good, but how exactly do you do that? While I don’t think there is one method, and I believe everyone has to figure out what works for themselves, I have listed eight points below that have perfected my planning over the past ten years. I hope you find them helpful.