Blog
Hi, I’m Toeps and I’ve been blogging since 2004. About my adventures, about things I think things about, and about my life as an autistic person. (And between 2012 and 2016 also about the world of models and photography, on my then platform Fashionmilk.com, which you may remember from the top model recaps.)
This blog has brought me many wonderful things: friends and girlfriends, a trip to Disneyland Paris and even a book. These days I mostly write about my life in Japan, where I live.
We got married!
I’m a pretty practical person. Romance isn’t really my thing, and when François asked me a few days ago if I knew when his birthday was, I was off by five days. (He’s the same way—last year, he wasn’t even in the country for my birthday—so luckily, no hard feelings.) I was never really into the idea of marriage. I don’t want kids, I don’t want a big party, and I don’t wear rings. And yet, today, we got married.
Back to the RSS
Why are we all on social media when the best platform for writing is your own? I gave my RSS feed a more prominent place and dusted off my RSS reader.
PR
Last April, François celebrated a milestone: ten years of living in Japan! He’d already studied there before that, but that doesn’t count—at least not according to the immigration office. But now the clock officially hit ten years, meaning he was eligible to apply for PR (permanent residency)!
On Musk’s hand
It was the talk of the day yesterday: A hand gesture by Elon Musk, for some clearly a Hitler salute, for others an innocent hand gesture from an enthusiastic autistic person, and yet another example of Trump Derangement Syndrome – the blind panic some seem to fall into at anything Trump and his people do.
Toeps, cat lady
There are some things that, if you’d told me a few years ago, I never would have believed. Moving to Japan, for example. But even that would’ve seemed less unlikely than this: living with a Frenchman and being responsible for two cats.
Toeps Rewind 2024, part 2
Welcome to part two of my 2024 rewind! It’s recommended to read the first part first, unless you’re some kind of barbarian or something. In this overview, we pick up where we left off, in the Netherlands, in July.
Toeps Rewind 2024, part 1
Welcome to Toeps Rewind, 2024 edition. It’s an annual tradition on this blog—except last year, when I spent most of my time complaining about life in this post. In March, I did write something that resembled a year-in-review, here. But I ended 2023 feeling a bit lost, and I can already tell you, that feeling didn’t entirely disappear in 2024. Anyway, let’s start at the beginning.
Visitors #2: Riemer
In my previous post, I shared how my family came to Japan and how I flew from Osaka to Narita to pick up Riemer — because he was coming too! We had deliberately planned it so Riemer would overlap with my family for a few days, allowing us to go to Disneyland together.
Visitors #1: The fam
But by now, everything seems back to normal. The number of tourists in Tokyo is larger than ever (which is actually pretty advantageous for someone who sells a book about her move to Japan, haha), and so, besides Charlotte, my father, stepmother, brother, sister-in-law, and niece also came to Japan. And Riemer. And Maan again, this time for an Artist-In-Residence.
Bye bye balcony Fuji
When I moved to Japan, I spent the first month and a half living in my office. Now, that sounds worse than it actually was, because my office is simply the tiny apartment I bought back when we were all stuck at home during COVID lockdowns and border closures. To meet the requirements of my business manager visa, I quickly needed to find a separate living space (home offices aren’t allowed), and I found one on the 10th floor of the same building. A bat had to be chased out first, then it needed a couple of weeks of ventilation, but after that, it slowly but surely became my home.
Narita, more than just an airport
When I was still living in Zaandam, I once saw a poster of the famous Inntel Hotel in Zaandam (which looks like a stack of traditional Zaanse houses), with the I amsterdam logo underneath. Look, I get the idea: tourists only know Amsterdam, so let’s just call everything that. The famous Muiderslot castle became Amsterdam Castle Muiderslot, an outlet in Halfweg was branded as Amsterdam The Style Outlets, and of course, our airport is called Amsterdam International Airport Schiphol – even though it’s located in the municipality of Haarlemmermeer.
Toeps, filtered
Something has changed in me since I wrote my books. I think it’s partly because of the books, but also partly because of the shifting online landscape. Either way, I’ve become more cautious. More neutral. Less opinionated. After all, with such a large audience, you naturally want to keep everyone happy. I’ve become a role model for people — and while that sounds incredibly arrogant, I do get emails from people saying just that every week — and I don’t want to disappoint them, upset them, or whatever else. I don’t want people emailing my publisher to complain about my tweets.
Soaring
Usually, when I write a blog, I know exactly what I want to say. The story has a beginning, a middle, an end, and ideally a twist, conclusion, or point I want to make. Not this time. I’m not entirely sure what I want with this piece, except to get the incident out of my head. It’s been circling around there for a day and a half now.
Status update
Riemer posted an update on LinkedIn yesterday with two photos that I took, and he properly gave credit: “Photos by my ex, Bianca Toeps.” First off, props for giving credit. But, uh, I think I need to explain a few things to you all.
Snap visit
“You know what I’ve been missing?” I thought the other day. “Just running around Tokyo with Charlotte, taking photos, reels, or whatever other content I can use for my socials.”
Toeps and Olga are checking the park
Two weeks ago, on a Sunday morning, I met up with Olga (my part-time marketing assistant) at Shinjuku Gyoen, the national park in the bustling heart of Tokyo. It was still early but already pretty warm. Summers in Tokyo often hit 36 degrees, and on top of that, the air is humid, making everything feel even stickier. Luckily, there was a breeze that morning, which helped with the heat but also served as a test for the microphone we wanted to try out.